One of the most fundamental
things that you need to continue to master in life is managing your emotions.
This is true for everyone who has emotions, basically every human being.
Especially being a man, you are given great power and responsibility and are
required to be able to not lord your power and responsibilities over others. If
you have no management system to regulate your emotions, it will destroy
everything you attempt to build. If you allow your emotions to grow untamed and
groomed, then you will be a volatile person resembling a volcano that erupts
with the slightest change of wind pattern.
Relationships
are most impacted by managed and unmanaged emotions. When you are quick to
scream and yell at a family member because they said or did something that was
not favorable, you have demonstrated unmanaged emotions. You have chosen to not
show self-control and to hurt this person with your words and actions. More
importantly you have chosen to give this person power over you to control you
and cause you to erupt; you have allowed them to pull you away from a place of
peace and equilibrium to a place of chaos and unbalance (confusion). Yes it is
your choice; you don’t have to blow up. You don’t have to let someone’s words
or actions offend you. If you do, you are choosing to be offended. You are choosing to give someone’s words and
actions power. Power to disrupt your life. Power to bring chaos and confusion
to your mind and heart. They have thrown you off your game. Other people don’t
defeat us, we allow ourselves to be defeated. We defeat ourselves.
As a man you
need to learn how to manage your emotions especially when you have a wife, i.e.
learning to be forgiving; showing her grace and mercy endlessly; choosing not
to be mad at her mistakes; choosing not to blow up when she says or does
something not beneficial to you or the marriage, no matter how small or big. Does
that mean we don’t get hurt; of course not! We are humans and we have feelings.
We can’t deny those feeling and emotions. Managing your emotions is not denying
your feelings. It is not becoming stone cold and not caring about people,
yourself or the world. It is not being apathetic.
Managing your
emotions is being honest about how you feel, choosing to deal with it and
choosing to respond in a beneficial way to both you and the surrounding party
involved. It is choosing to remember who you are and your worth and value and
choosing to reject negativity directed at you. It is choosing to keep silent
first, so you can listen; giving you the correct information to respond to the
situation at hand. It is waiting, observing and assessing the situation before
responding. It is not reacting. Reacting is the opposite of responding. In
reacting you have no control; you are a slave, a victim to what is happening to
you. You have relinquished your right and authority to choose. When you choose
to respond you are not a victim or slave, but a victor and a free man.
These qualities of victory and
freedom are crucial in your leading as a man and being an influence in the
world around you.
Proverbs 16:32
“Better a patient man than a
warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city.”
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