Your value and worth to this world

Society tends to tell us who we are and who we should strive to be as men. So much pressure is put on us to be providers of money to our families. And if we are not making a lot of money we are quickly beaten down as worthless and no good. Our job titles and status are constantly pushed in our faces as indicators of our success. If we don’t have the big titles or big status, then we are made to feel less than a man. This has become the prize in our eyes. It seems to be the end all be all of our existence. We are made to believe that all of our self worth and happiness will come from it. That you must be willing to sell your soul to do what it takes to get there. It makes us corrupt in our dealings with people and money. We are willing to give up quality relationships with family and friends for these things. We need to stop and say no more.

A man’s worth is not in him providing money. There is so much more that a man provides. A man is not worth the job title that he carries. A man’s worth is much deeper and tangible than words written next to his name that a company created. A man is worth more than the status of fame that captivates the attention of many. I believe that this is the time where people are looking to be captivated by a different type of man. A man with self-worth, a man of extraordinary character, a man grounded in faith, strengthened by principles, protected by values and guided by wisdom. A man that knows how to express himself and is not afraid to express his true feelings to other like minded men, his family, his God, and his wife. A man that doesn’t settle for second best, but waits for the ultimate best, because he knows he is worth it. This is a man of old that has been reborn, raised from the ashes like the phoenix. Blazing a path for other men to be inspired, to also rise and blaze their own path. A man’s vision and mission should be fueled from the passion that burns deep in his soul, not from the pressures of the world bearing down on his back. 

Duane Moore

Pursuit of Manhood: The Man that Stands

Pursuit of Manhood: The Man that Stands:                 Uncharted water, unpaved roads, unexplored land; is what manhood brings. There are times in your life when you will stand a...

The Man that Stands

                Uncharted water, unpaved roads, unexplored land; is what manhood brings. There are times in your life when you will stand alone; you will be the only one standing. But you will be standing for something. If you are not standing for something you are not living. You have no backbone, you have weak knees. As a man you will stand by yourself often. Because as a man you are ruled by your belief system, a set of principles and values that govern your thoughts and actions.

                A man is someone who will stand for something even if he is alone, the only one willing to fight for what he believes is right. This journey of manhood is not for followers. Manhood is about leading. Leading one’s self through this life and through the unknown; Leading your thoughts; leading your words and actions; Leading the people around you. Leadership is about setting an example for others to follow. Yes every man is a leader. A leader is not for one person. A leader is a state of thinking and being. It’s not a onetime thing or a title. But it is who you are, it is an identity.

                A man is not meant to conform, but to transform the world around him. A man goes against the grain and tides for the sake of his honor and glory. And this honor and glory is never for him but for his King and his people. A man’s stand is staying true to his word. Being consistent in who he is. Being a man requires a constant identification of being someone people can count on. A man is trustworthy. People trust a man because he exemplifies characteristics and traits of a trustworthy person. Loyalty is his garment that brings him great pride and joy. A man’s loyalty is like no other. That is why they say “ a man’s best friend” when referring to a dog, because dogs are one of the most loyal animals you can have as a pet. Men hold dear to loyalty. Nothing means more to him than loyalty, because in loyalty he gives his heart. He gives it to those who can be loyal. A man’s heart is a rare diamond that not everyone can enjoy. His heart is only for the loyal that can take care of it, embrace it, respect it and love it. A man’s heart will harden before it will experience betrayal.

             Don’t be dejected when you are living through the moments of standing alone. These are the moments of glory. These are the moments where you are strengthened and learn about yourself. These are the moments you get to stand as a man.

 “Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil.”

- Ephesians 6:11

“Be on the alert, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong.” – 1 Corinthians 16:13

Duane

Parenthood

When you become a parent, it is no longer about you.  When you have a child to raise, your life is not for you to do whatever you want. When you bring another precious life into this world, you have to make decisions that are for the best this precious life. No more can you embrace and act on the ideal of “what's in it for me”. You embrace and act on the ideal of what's best for this little child.

Selflessness is what being a parent is about; sacrificing your wants for the needs of your child; putting their well being before your comfort and preferences.  This is not easy but it is do able with perfect love; Genuine agape love.

Being a parent requires you to make decisions that demonstrate love and wisdom for your child. It is not simple to make certain decision. It can be downright difficult when it hurts your core but it is needed for their growth and development.

Our kids need us to make the difficult decisions. They need to see how it's done. They need to see the strength that it takes to make those tough calls.

Our kids are completely relying on us to take care of them. They are relying on us to make the best decisions for their lives, and to set them up to be successful and grow into mature adults. They have no choice and say in the matter. They are helpless to our decisions for their lives until they are grown enough to make decisions for themselves. We need to realize the precious gift and serious responsibility of caring for them, protecting them and grooming them into mature, wise and productive men and women for this world; their world that we are leaving to them. Our gift and legacy to the world is our children.

Duane

Fatherhood

That child you’re holding is the best of you. How you treat yourself will ultimately show through your interaction with that little one.   

           

When you first hold that little baby, you have begun to live life holding your heart in your hands. That precious child is your heart and you will protect your heart no matter what. This is parenthood; this is the driving force in fatherhood- loving with your heart exposed to the elements of the world.

Your reason for living has shifted. You have entered into a different realm of existing. The reasons that use to cause you to live move and breathe have changed. You need to quickly adapt to this new environment, to this new way of existing. You begin to see the world as your parents see's it. Now you see through the eyes of a father.

* This warm soft beating freshly delivered baby sits into the crevasses of my arms and chest. The rhythm of its pulsing body is familiar to me. This rhythm is the rhythm of my heart.

One of the most comforting thing as a parent is knowing that your child knows that you love them.

Managing your Emotions: The emotions of a man

One of the most fundamental things that you need to continue to master in life is managing your emotions. This is true for everyone who has emotions, basically every human being. Especially being a man, you are given great power and responsibility and are required to be able to not lord your power and responsibilities over others. If you have no management system to regulate your emotions, it will destroy everything you attempt to build. If you allow your emotions to grow untamed and groomed, then you will be a volatile person resembling a volcano that erupts with the slightest change of wind pattern.

Relationships are most impacted by managed and unmanaged emotions. When you are quick to scream and yell at a family member because they said or did something that was not favorable, you have demonstrated unmanaged emotions. You have chosen to not show self-control and to hurt this person with your words and actions. More importantly you have chosen to give this person power over you to control you and cause you to erupt; you have allowed them to pull you away from a place of peace and equilibrium to a place of chaos and unbalance (confusion). Yes it is your choice; you don’t have to blow up. You don’t have to let someone’s words or actions offend you. If you do, you are choosing to be offended. You are choosing to give someone’s words and actions power. Power to disrupt your life. Power to bring chaos and confusion to your mind and heart. They have thrown you off your game. Other people don’t defeat us, we allow ourselves to be defeated. We defeat ourselves.

As a man you need to learn how to manage your emotions especially when you have a wife, i.e. learning to be forgiving; showing her grace and mercy endlessly; choosing not to be mad at her mistakes; choosing not to blow up when she says or does something not beneficial to you or the marriage, no matter how small or big. Does that mean we don’t get hurt; of course not! We are humans and we have feelings. We can’t deny those feeling and emotions. Managing your emotions is not denying your feelings. It is not becoming stone cold and not caring about people, yourself or the world. It is not being apathetic.

Managing your emotions is being honest about how you feel, choosing to deal with it and choosing to respond in a beneficial way to both you and the surrounding party involved. It is choosing to remember who you are and your worth and value and choosing to reject negativity directed at you. It is choosing to keep silent first, so you can listen; giving you the correct information to respond to the situation at hand. It is waiting, observing and assessing the situation before responding. It is not reacting. Reacting is the opposite of responding. In reacting you have no control; you are a slave, a victim to what is happening to you. You have relinquished your right and authority to choose. When you choose to respond you are not a victim or slave, but a victor and a free man.

These qualities of victory and freedom are crucial in your leading as a man and being an influence in the world around you.

Proverbs 16:32

“Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city.” 

Transitioning to Manhood

Childhood is your preparation for transitioning into manhood.

One of the greatest challenges in manhood is no longer interacting with the world as a child, but as a man. Your goal is to make this as smooth as possible. Unfortunately there is always an area of your life that breaks you into manhood. A smooth transition is ideal. But, There is a price to pay to be a man. There’s a cost. It requires hard work, focus, determination and persistence like no other. It is one of the most naturally painful process, and beautiful in every way.

You can’t run away from it. It will hunt you down, because you were created for it. You were designed to be a man, a God type man. It is our destiny. We do have the choice of how we want that to play out. You can embrace it and flourish or elude and be humbled. Either way you will experience the journey called manhood.

“When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things.”- 1 Corinthians 13:11 (NKJV)

“When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; now that I have become a man, I am done with childish ways and have put them aside.”- 1 Corinthians 13:11 (AMP)

“I put the ways of childhood behind me”- 1 Corinthians 13:11 (NIV)

It is time to hang up the title of childhood. It is time to build a new way of thinking. It is time to develop new actions that represent responsible excellence.

How do you view yourself compared to other adults? Adults older than you?

How do you view education, work, money, women, children, house, cars, family, parents, siblings, religion, politics, etc. now as an adult than when you were a child? 

The eyes of a child are innocent. Everything about a child is innocent. Then experiences start to mold and shape that child into an adult whose perspectives have changed and preferences has formed and beliefs developed.

You’ve made your mark as a boy. Now how do you make your mark as a man? The rules are different the land is abstract. Everything you knew and understood as a child will be challenged and reshaped as a man. Knowledge and wisdom have before a familiar friend. They need to be, in order to survive and navigate this abstract shift to the world of manhood.

"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect."- Romans 12:2 (ESV)

Duane