It is an Individual Journey not a lonely one

 I had always thought how lonely this journey of manhood was. At times of overwhelming moments and pressure I felt alone, that there was no one to talk to about what I was going through. Others guys didn’t seem to talk about the deep things that were happening in their lives. It seemed like you have to deal with whatever you were going through alone; never to involve anyone else. Yes, there were close friends and mentors. But it seemed like the issues of being a man was not talked about. This feeling really reared its ugly head when I became a husband. The pressure that I felt having to now provide and lead was crippling. I thought I was going to die from the weight of this role that I was learning and growing in. 

Don’t get me wrong, I have had many men from whom I was able to learn from and who have taken me under their wings and loved on me. I mainly experienced this during my college year’s just up to getting married. But as soon as I got married it seemed like everyone disappeared. My world shifted and I was now required to navigate this new world of husbandhood by myself. People would mention in secret codes on the pressures of being a husband but I couldn’t decode them. People mentioned, in what seemed to me, as riddles about the pressures of finance and providing. But not until the weeks after I said “I do” was this understanding dropped on my lap. I was puzzled by this overwhelming need to want to make money, and thinking about how I was going to provide. Yes, I had a plan before marriage, but something changed drastically once married. My plan didn’t seem strong or real enough for the weight I was now feeling- to give me peace.

I have learned that it is an individual journey not a lonely one. I have to walk it out, no one can tell me what to do or how to do it, but I can learn from others on how they walked out their manhood and why. I can gain inspiration and encouragement from other men’s life to encourage me to walk out my journey with passion and courage. See, I am not alone, there are others living their own journey. I am the leader of my ship and I have to do things that no one else can do for me. That is why sometimes it may feel lonely, but really it is about you taking ownership of your life and discovering who you are and walking it out in the journey of manhood. You are never alone because you can gain support and encouragement from other men. You are on an individual journey because it is ultimately your decision and your vision that has to come to pass.

What I have learned and am continue to do is to draw from those men close and those far away. Taking what is encouraging from their life and what resonant with the vision I have for my life. Ultimately, I now see that God wants to show me personally the type of man He wants me to be. He is the role model that has now taken me under His wings. No longer does he want me to rely on another man to take me under their wings. No person can completely mentor me in all areas of my life; only God can.

Psalm 91

¹ Those who live in the shelter of the Most High
    will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
² This I declare about the Lord:
He alone is my refuge, my place of safety;
    he is my God, and I trust him.
³ For he will rescue you from every trap
    and protect you from deadly disease.
⁴ He will cover you with his feathers.
    He will shelter you with his wings.
    His faithful promises are your armor and protection.
⁵ Do not be afraid of the terrors of the night,
    nor the arrow that flies in the day.
⁶ Do not dread the disease that stalks in darkness,
    nor the disaster that strikes at midday.
⁷ Though a thousand fall at your side,
    though ten thousand are dying around you,
    these evils will not touch you.
⁸ Just open your eyes,
    and see how the wicked are punished.

⁹ If you make the Lord your refuge,
    if you make the Most High your shelter,
¹⁰ no evil will conquer you;
    no plague will come near your home.
¹¹ For he will order his angels
    to protect you wherever you go.
¹² They will hold you up with their hands
    so you won’t even hurt your foot on a stone.
¹³ You will trample upon lions and cobras;
    you will crush fierce lions and serpents under your feet!

¹⁴ The Lord says, “I will rescue those who love me.
    I will protect those who trust in my name.
¹⁵ When they call on me, I will answer;
    I will be with them in trouble.
    I will rescue and honor them.
¹⁶ I will reward them with a long life
    and give them my salvation.”

-Psalm 91 New Living Translation (NLT)

Duane